Payback is a B****

If I truly believed in karma

I’d be convinced that you were mine

My heart wanted you so much

I fell past all the signs

With every second spent. . .on an array of conversation

Intellectual, radical, and ridiculous

Aliens, God, systemic oppression 

How I’m not jumping no broom, and why must you have this fan again

You know, normal shit

With the way your eyes met mine 

Suddenly words weren’t needed

A delicate touch spoke volumes

I opened the doors to my soul 

Placed my secrets in your care

The more of you I received 

The more I fell

Only you weren’t falling with me

Loving you was a dose of my own broken hearted medicine 

Unfairly prescribed for a condition that is outdated

I’m no longer hurt.  . .jaded 

Feeding ego at the expense of another

But the universe still saw fit to see my energy reciprocated

You. . .were my KARMA

Double Shot

My love is not conditional,

Nor fickle

It does not hinge on your behavior 

Nor the musings of sweet nothings 

That trickle from your lips with the smoothness of heavy cream 

infiltrating the richness of my coffee bold soul 

My love is not conditional,

It can not be bought

Nor exchanged for anything of this plain

Materials won’t do 

Divinely connected 

Pulled in, drawn to energy that feels like home

My love is not conditional 

All I require is that you give me YOU. 

                                           - Darian Marissa 

Discipline is Key

I’m a person that is deeply rooted in my emotions so this has been, and sometimes still is a struggle for me. A lot of times we get stagnant because we don’t want to do the work when we aren’t “feeling” it. The truth of the matter is you have two options. 1) Push through it and get it done anyway 2) Wallow in your toxic vibe and procrastinate until the next time you’re in a good mood. Either way it’s going to feel shitty. If you do the work anyway, the feeling will be short lived because you’ll have progressed toward your goal. If you don’t the weight of that feeling will multiply because you now feel behind the ball. So suck it up buttercup and get it done. 

Know Your Worth

While people are responsible for how they treat you, you are equally responsible for accepting it. Someone disrespecting and devaluing you will never be your fault, however, once you’ve realized this is the way they are going to behave you owe it to yourself to speak up and/or remove yourself from the situation. In many cases, that’s easier said than done but you have to. If you accept their behavior, excuses, mistreatment, you are teaching them that’s an acceptable way to handle you.

That was something I had to realize the hard way. When someone shows you a toxic pattern of behavior and you continue to subject yourself to it you become apart of the problem. You’ll find yourself in a stagnant space of complaining, yet you are not moving forward. You’ve got to love yourself enough to let go, no matter how scary it is. Holding on will only kill your spirit. 

Wax On Wax Off

When I first started I swore I would never wax. I dreaded being waxed and didn’t trust myself to wax anyone else. Then last weekend I went to Premiere Orlando and fell in love with the process. I didn’t want to wax because I allowed my lack of knowledge and experience equate to an inability to do so. WRONG. I went after the knowledge I was lacking and just started doing it, now there’s no going back. 

The Runaway

I was addicted to my own pain

I reveled in it

Long past there being anything to gain 

From reliving the hurt that damn near drove me insane

But to let go means taking responsibility 

For my own growth 

My own healing

Opening myself up to the possibility 

That it could all. . .happen. . .again 

And so I continued to fiddle with strings of toxicity 

Institutionalized by my pain 

Unable to cope with “healthy” 

The triggers fire and anxiety swells

There’s got to be something wrong 

And I’d sit waiting for the other shoe to fall 

Only it wouldn’t . .  .but that can’t be 

So there I’d go digging into the recesses of my mind for old traumas to project 

Subconsciously leaking the poisons of the past 

Piecing together reasons to retreat 

Because it’s better to leave before the hurt

Right?! 

The Concept Behind the Slogan

“Sip Tea and Catch the Beat”

So what's tea you ask? Probably not what you were expecting based upon preconceived notions built up around the topic in pop culture these days. Like many, you might be used to "tea" being the latest gossip. Maybe Sam caught her boyfriend cheating, Rebecca's pregnant again from her no-good baby daddy, or Shontelle got fired AGAIN for cursing out management. Not here sis!! So if juicy gossip is what you're looking for this wont be the blog or you. While I may discuss current drama or issues in media and pop-culture from time to time, we will not gossip for the sake of entertainment and just having something to talk about. If there is no valid lesson, point of redirection, or an opportunity for growth as a result of the conversations, they will not be had here.

 I would like to redefine the concept of "tea" and "spilling tea." I want to inspire fruitful and progressive conversation. Tea you receive here will feed your mind, body, and soul. The tea we share will be books with helpful insights ( life, business, love ) and lessons we've learned in overcoming our own toxic behavior not just highlighting that of others. Maybe your tea is the Sunday sermon that really stuck with you. Of course I'll spill tea on my beauty hacks as I embark on the journey of becoming not only a makeup artist but a clinical esthetician. Now that we've gotten that out of they way, Heyyyy girl. Time to "Sip Tea and Catch the Beat."

XoXo Darian Marissa

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

I thought you were helping

me complete my puzzle

But you've been pulling pieces

from a different box

adjusting the angles ever so slightly. . . .

so they almost fit

forming a fragmented image

of everything I thought I wanted

I can almost picture what it would be like

to be loved by you

1509

You played with my heart but it's my fault, I let you 

I let you in to a place no one had ever seen 

I let you see soul deep inside of me 

I gave you my worries, trusted you with my dreams 

But when you finished there was barely anything left of me 

You altered my mind and conquered my heart 

Only to leave me broken 

I let you see my soul, I gave you everything 

And you still left me

Left me to re write my dreams 

Haunted by faded memories 

Of what we would never be 

Black Boy Blues

Hey black boy

Why you so mean?

Heart full of ice

Head full of steam

Hey black boy

Why you so mean

Cussin’ folk out

Causin’ a scene

“Hey black boy

Why you so mean”

Maybe cause my daddy gone

And mama ain’t home to feed me

Maybe cause my brother locked up

Cousin been gunned down in the street

Hey Merikkka

You wanna know why I’m mean

I go to bed hungry

My water ain’t even clean

System took my people

Ain’t nobody lookin’ out for me

Each night

I pray just to wake up

Each day

That today ain’t the day police decide to kill me

Stop asking

Black boys why they’re so mean

Maybe

Cause they struggle in a society

Built to oppress and detain

Rather than sustain such KINGS